


I Will Follow You (For As Long As You’ll Allow Me)

by GhostEyeliner



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Ike is forever oblivious to Soren’s crush on him, Introspective fic about Soren’s feelings for Ike, M/M, Mutual IkeRanulf, One-Sided Ikesoren, Soren’s a sad boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14455074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostEyeliner/pseuds/GhostEyeliner
Summary: Soren was in loveIn love with a man far too good for him. Yet, he hoped against all reason that somehow he would be enoughUnfortunately, hope doesn’t account for much





	I Will Follow You (For As Long As You’ll Allow Me)

Ask Soren about Ike and he'll get a faraway look in his eyes, a look that belongs to a lovestruck teen. A gentle fondness more then present upon his features. He speaks like a poet about the man's strengths, practically signing his praises and how no one, beorc, laguz or anything in between can compare to him. Yet, there's sadness right beneath the smile he wears as he tells a tale about Ike, a dulling of his eyes when he speaks of how fond the man is of the laguz (especially of one in particular).

He loves the man with all his heart, he has sworn to stay by the man's side for as long as he continues to breathe the air of life. But he knows his heart is on a hopeless pursuit. Ike's heart belongs to another, and yet, Soren can't force himself to distance himself from Ike. He cares far too much about the man to do that, he wants to keep him safe, he wants to be useful in Ike's eyes, he just wants to be with him. And if it can't be in a relationship of love, he'll allow it. Even if it breaks his heart.

He can't leave the man's side, unless the man was to learn of his secret of being Branded and if that were to ever happen. He would let Ike kill him himself, for his existence is looked down upon by even the Goddess herself. So why not let the only one he cares about be the last thing he sees?

Soren is forever hopelessly enamored with someone far too good for him

...

_“There’s only one place for me to be, Ike…and it’s by your side.”_

Those were the words he wanted to say, by the Goddess, did he want to say them. He felt as though his heart would break within the prison known as his ribcage if he didn’t say them. And yet, he couldn’t. The words were swallowed up by the abyss known as his mind. Deep down, he knew saying such things would not change anything. Ike was never meant to be with him…. And that’s the reality Soren has to accept, no matter how much he wishes for a divine miracle to make things stop hurting for once. To take the emotion from within his heart and rip it into pieces so small that he couldn’t pick them up and put them back together again, no matter how much he may want to in a fleeting moment of longing to feel some passion again. But the Goddess didn't show such mercy to those who inhabit Tellius, so instead, he held his heart close to him. Kept it under lock and key, away from curious eyes that wanted to break down the young man. It was to be his garden of rotten flowers, petals drained of colour much like how his eyes felt drained of life after tears broke through his mental prison and weakened his heart.

All he said instead to the man that owned the key to his heart was; _“Of course. I hope that I may continue to be of service.”_

It was formal, yet it spoke the wish he had. He wanted to stay by Ike's side, and he had a purpose here. To be the clear headed and tactical mind that would be the shadow of the guiding hand of the company, while Ike shined in the spotlight as the magnificent man he was, as Ike deserved nothing less than admiration from all. Soren instead allowed himself to shine within the confines of his tent late at night, writing strategies and metaphorically carrying the lives of the mercenaries and eventually an entire army upon his slim shoulders. It was his place, to provide the plan for the guiding light of every soul within the army to use yet remain as nothing more then Ike's shadow, to not take the credit he perhaps deserves. Ike was meant to shine, he was to be the object of affection of many, that was to be inevitable. He was a brilliant man who held only virtues within his soul, not a single vice to darken the man's appeal.

Truly, he is the definition of perfection among the mortal beings created by the Goddess's design. His eyes held a potential of kindness for all, matter how disgusting they were (he knew that personally, after all, if not for that kindness shown even though he was nothing more than part of the scum of society as they knew it, he wouldn't be alive). His voice was bold, carrying the tone of an underlying wisdom despite his youth (Soren was often witness to the moments of shocking maturity, and in those moments, his heart only sank further into the hopeless emotion he felt for the young commander). Everything about him was flawless, hand sewn with delicate hands by Ashera herself.

They were a pair, not in love or even the blissful, yet stressful confusion of platonic feelings becoming something more. It was to be forever nothing more than best friends, a title that both pleases and destroys Soren. A deadly duo in battle whenever they would fight side by side, protecting each other's weak spots (although compared to Ike, Soren's entire being was a weak point. A frail body that could fall to almost any blade, and a frail mental being if you were to remove the mask of apathy he wears).

Then the laguz that Ike had gotten so close to spoke, a light tone of cheerfulness present in his voice; _“Oh, and another thing. You’ll be seeing me again soon. Gallia’s decided not to spare any effort in aiding Crimea’s reconstruction. I’ll be back shortly with a whole army of workers and laborers. Look for us!”_

Of course Ranulf would return to help with the reconstruction of the fallen Kingdom. It would be idiotic not to, especially since it was… Painfully obvious that the laguz was fond of Ike far beyond the level of simple camaraderie and friendship. Not that he could blame him, but yet, unlike with everyone else that showed Ike affection straight from their heart, Ike seemed to notice and even reciprocate the feelings right back.

That was another quality about Ike that was unlike many others, his acceptance of the laguz (He was better then Soren in this way as well, as Soren couldn't forgive the race as a whole because of his past mistreatment by them. How pathetic was that?). Though, the knowledge that the object of Ike's heart was a laguz would surprise many, if they noticed it. Of course Soren knew this, Ike had told him himself. He trusted Soren to keep the secret that is his affection for Ranulf, for he was his closest friend. And without hesitation, Soren had agreed. For how could he deny Ike? He couldn't, even if it hurt him to agree.

He deserved whoever made him happy, nothing less. And if that was a laguz, who was he to argue? Ranulf was truly the person that Ike deserved. He could protect Ike without causing the commander worry over his well being (he always did that with Soren, stating that Soren shouldn't be in the frontlines. Even though he had proved himself time and time again of being a capable of being a valuable asset to the frontlines. Besides, they had other mages such as Calill and Ilyana to handle spells that worked better from behind the line, so why shouldn't he be protecting Ike?). But with Ranulf? He welcomed the help without that glint of concern in his eyes or the slight hesitation present in his voice that he held when Soren offered the same assistance. They were, a perfect duo (perfect, something impossible for him and Ike to achieve). Beast and beorc working in tandem, cutting down the enemy soldiers of Daein without a seeming end to their energy. Truthfully, they worked so well together that as the strategist for the Liberation Army, he had made them pair up in every battle if the terrain and the reasonable amount of soldiers they could have fighting in one area made it possible.

It would be stupid to do otherwise, and he had found himself following the wishes that Ike had for him back when they worked together, sticking back and using his tomes from safer places, even with the confused raising of eyebrows he got from the other mages. Calill had been shocked and even asked him if he was ill as she never seen him not fighting with the other Greil Mercenaries side, to which Soren had replied that he was fine, he was just needed here more. Though her expression said that she wasn't convinced, she left it alone. The women was far smarter than people gave her credit for.

Even though they weren't together much on the battlefield once the Gallian soldiers had joined the Liberation Army, he was still by Ike's side frequently outside the battlefield. He often walked side by side with him in camp, giving a rundown of the strategy for the next battle they would face (although he knew the information was barely absorbed into the commanders head, as when he would rely the plan to the army later that night, Ike often acted like this was the first time he was hearing it. Which didn't look good in the eyes of the Crimeans within the army). And often was he by Ike’s side when he was in meetings with the laguz Kings, as he was a trusted ally of his.

Ally, friend, painfully never nothing more and yet hopefully never nothing less. He wasn't good enough to be anything more to Ike, that he knew. Pathetic, weak, useless in almost every field and in the fields he did excel at, there was others that could surely do his job better if he were to die. Yet, he was selfish enough to want to live, to be useful to Ike. He wanted to be his shadow for as long fate would allow it. Never would they be equals, that would be impossible. They were worlds apart, Ike embraced the differences amongst all the different people within Tellius and was at least pleasant to all, beorc, laguz, or even the Branded they had even if their character were less than stellar while Soren still held deep hatred or simple contentment at best for most. Ike was a shining star whose radiance could rival the sun itself while Soren was nothing more then the shadow casted by the sun, a shadow that owned his life to his shining star. To Ike.

Without Ike, he was nothing. And yet, he wanted to be everything to Ike. Sad, isn't it? How could he be anything important to Ike if he was the only reason Soren had worth to begin with? Yet, he desired it. He wanted to be the reason Ike's eyes lit up, he wanted to be the reason he felt safe, he wanted to be the reason he smiled. Soren wanted to be the reason why Ike was happy. But alas, that was never meant to be.

And he just had to accept being second best for the rest of his life. To be the best friend who listens to his friends woes. That was to be his role, to be the friend and strategist to commander Ike. A man who had myself a legend while yet still a child himself, that was the man he forever sworn himself to. That was fine, as long as he was allowed to be by Ike’s side, he would do whatever the man needed.

He was happy to just be beside the one his heart fell for, no matter how unworthy of being in Ike’s presence he was.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A sad boy fic inspired by a discord FE RP server I’m in


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